Tuesday, May 15, 2012

since our last meeting

Ok so i am still neglecting this blog. I know i had promised a real, nice proper blog, but then hospital happened.I had been very ill and finally after throwing up every day for two weeks i decided that going to the hospital, as much as i hate it, had to happen. After sitting for ages we go back and they put a iv in and take blood, they let a student do the first one, and while it was not horrible, it really was not done the best, but UAB is a teaching hospital, so it kinda comes with the territory. Why UAB, well as it is the largest hospital it is the best in my city, also my oncologist is at UAB so it made sense to go there, as we were worried it was the other ovary acting up, and possibly the dreaded C word, cancer. Well after maybe 30 mins the doctor comes back in and we find out, no its not cancer, but i am Diabetic. This was a huge shock to me as my blood had been checked recently and was fine (we looked back over it after all of this and it actually was not fine, but we were still worried about the ovary so it got missed). my sugar levels were at 1150, wayyy wayyy wayyy over what it should be. By like 1000. and 50. An amount that should have had me in a coma. So another iv in my left arm (that guy was amazing, did not even feel it) and i am hooked up to an insulin pump, and i have a potassium drip. Potassium hurts, a lot and you have to be extremely careful with it, and i cried when it was started. That night was spent in the ICU, where one of my nice nurses gave me her apple, since i wasn't allowed to eat, due to my sugar levels. Best apple ever. i was hooked up to so many different things, it was a very interesting night to say the least. Esp. when they took arterial blood, again a student did it first, but even with a seasoned nurse doing it, it still hurt like hell. After being moved down to a normal room ( i missed being in the new womens building, it was so nice) i had to beg and argue to get lunch. It didn't even taste right, my throat was so dry and my taste buds were just coated. This is also about the time i started to lose my vision, which was odd as when my sugar levels were out of the world i could see fine. More finger pricks, ivs going bad and two more days in the hospital and more info than i could possibly remember, i was sent back home with insulin. fast forward a few months, its now my birthday, im off insulin and  while i can't say everything is all good as its my 26 and i get kicked off insurance at the end of this month, things have changed. Hopefully i can actually get this blog in order and actually post things. rest assured, randomness shall rule and you never know what will get posted

Monday, January 30, 2012

current thoughs.

a true proper blog should follow this, i need to remember to blog more, life just gets in the way.
but these are the thoughts of the moment.
Cancer sucks, the prospect of having it again sucks more. thankfully this time around it's not cancer, it's hopefully not a huge deal even. thank goodness. i really was not looking forward to major surgery again. if you have never had it, it's not a fun thing to deal with at all.
Dr.s and their staff can be huge assholes. wait the staff at mine are, there is no can in that.
We live, we learn, we get fucked over by people. does this mean we give up on people completely? no, you just gotta be tough.and have the ability to go shoot something or bake. i prefer bake. so do my coworkers.
Red Stripe makes the best beer bread. it gives it a bit of a fruity taste. I've never actually drank it on its own though.
this was going to be about makeup, but i drank grape kool-aid and now that's not happening.
I'm pretty sure iced tea is a food group in the south.
I really want fried green tomatoes. which i will eat tomorrow, as i have not been eating much lately so when i want it i go for it.
Grape flavored anything is the way to my heart. My friend Meg not only knows this but she always gets me happy grape candy. i need to beg her for grape mentos again.
I go by many names, Bitch I'm sure is one some people have for me. I prefer livvie gothic girl, batgirl, laurendarling, and of course kittymumsis.
Livvie is what my mom called me. the rest some amazing girls gave to me.
do i regret how friendships ended, one yes, as there was no real need for that, and we have so much more in common that she knows now.the others? no, they fucked that up themselves, and they can kiss my ass.
i love crafting.
i think that's it for this evening. again this is a blog of random. random is what you will get

Monday, August 22, 2011

Random me

So why a blog? do i really have that much going on in my life to blog? most likely no, i am kinda a dull person i think. But i do have some things going on, and am trying to make changes in my life for the better, so i guess this is a way to document that.
but this is supposed to be a random look at who is livvie.
I am 25 years old. at times it seems i should still be much younger, but im not so oh well
I have a cat i adore, she is insane and just makes me happy
Friends are easy to find, actually good ones are damn near impossible.
One of those good friends is Alex, shes know me since i was 16 and is like my big sister.
My mom died when i was 16 from cancer, by the time they figured out she had it, it was kinda to late. It was all over, and they never really pinned it down as to where it started.
This freaks me out because im convinced i will get cancer and die. irrational you say? well as i had surgery a few months ago to remove my left ovary and take out tumors that were borderline cancerous it seems more and more like a reality.
I was told i was clear of cancer after surgery, which was a relief
the surgery brought up even more the need for change in my life, i have not been happy, for much of the year so far, i find the bits and pieces of happy all around, but sometimes i feel like im just forcing it.
that has to change
i want to be more happy when i am making things, because i do love it. jewelry and crafting are things i could not imagine not doing, so i wont stop. 
other randoms?
i am naturally blonde but i bleach my hair, it drives my family nuts as they think i have beautiful hair naturally, but it makes me happy this way
i have one tattoo, its of a bat. i kinda have a thing for them, if you couldn't tell already.
my right eyebrow is pierced, i had wanted it done for 10 years before i finally did it.
i do not have plans for other piercings, but do want more tattoos.